Like many children, Riley has lots of questions about life…
Riley: Why do we sleep on beds?
Michael: It’s to keep the snakes off.
Riley: What snakes?!
Michael: The ones that would crawl into bed and eat you if the beds didn’t have legs.
Riley: I hope my bed is going to have really tall legs.
Riley: Where does water come from?
Michael: Angel tears.
Riley: We use a lot of water. Do angels cry all the time?
Michael: No, only when they are sad or happy.
Riley: What if their tears run out? We’d get awfully thirsty!
Michael: Don’t worry. There are like a zillion angels.
Riley: Why is this flower called “Baby’s Breath?”
Michael: ‘Cause it only grows if a baby breathes on it.
Riley: Why do people have to eat all the time?
Michael: Because we’re all full of poop. When we eat, the food pushes the poop out.
Riley: What would happen if we stopped eating then?
Michael: All the poop in our bodies would turn hard as stones, and we’d turn into statues.
Riley: Why do people throw their cigarette butts on the ground?
Michael: It’s so new cigarettes can grow. The butts are like the seeds.
Riley: Cigarettes will grow out of the pavement?
Michael: Cigarettes grow anywhere.
Riley: Why are there so many kinds of cars?
Michael: If all the cars looked the same, you’d never be able to find your car in a parking lot!
Riley: You’re so smart, Michael.
Riley: Why does H., our favourite librarian, have this big plastic thing here?
Michael: It’s to keep the wild animals out of the library. See, this little opening is just big enough for us, but a raccoon would get stuck for sure.
Riley: I think I’m scared of raccoons.
Riley: Why do birds come in so many colours?
Michael: Because every time they fly through a rainbow, their feathers change colour.
Riley: Why is Uncle P. putting all these bricks here?
Michael: He’s building us a sidewalk so we don’t get hit by the cars in his driveway, when we come to visit.
Riley: I’m so glad you’re my brother. You know everything.
Michael: Stick with me, kid. I won’t let anyone steer you wrong.